The invisible florist

I’ve always been short, but many will say I have a big enough personality to make up for what I lack in height.

I learnt from a young age that if you are vertically challenged as well as a shy retiring introvert , there’s a good chance you’ll go un-noticed, fading into the background, ignored by everyone.

I can understand that might appeal to some, left to get on with their lives, without constant interruption.


I know that’s hard to believe, but I want to be the centre of attention all of the time. My lovely florists understand this, they realise that there can only be one PRIMA DONNA and that’s ME. It’s like creating an amazing bouquet, you want flowers and foliage that compliment each other, the quality of each stem has to be top-notch, a weak choice will stand out and reflect on the overall look, but there has to be a star, one flower that sets the tone, one flower which is made all the more wonderful by those that surround it.

Going back to my height, or my lack of it. This week I got a flashback to my school days where I was a shrinking violet among a sea of sunflowers. I noticed that nine times out of ten, well actually ten times out of ten, if I’m in the shop with anyone else in the Flower Shop team, working intensely at the workbench and someone walks in, whether it be a potential customer, a supplier, delivery or even (occasionally) John, that person’s eye will be automatically drawn to the tallest person – which is basically anyone other than ME!!

It seems that SIZE really does count, even an extra inch makes all the difference. Becky is only a smidge taller than me, but I’ve tested the theory and that extra length of bone is the difference between being noticed or ignored.

When I have a disagreement with our freaky tall florist Annmarie (she’s about 5’10”), I swear she puts things I need on high shelves just to annoy me. I get my revenge by making her paint the ceiling without the aid of a step-ladder (making out I’ve left it at some venue or another). Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate tall florists, they do have their uses, especially when it comes to putting large vases in high places, but if you’re under 5’3″ you’re more likely to score higher when it comes to an interview – bearing in mind that french skipping, singing and jumping skills are also considered highly desirable. *

So there I was, busy putting the finishing touches to a floral masterpiece,with Claire2, Becky and Charlotte, when a gentleman walked in, quickly scanned the scene and immediately locked eyes with Claire2 (who just happenned to be the tallest by a good 5 inches).

“Hello” he said “Could I have some advice on some flowers, please?”

Now Claire2 (uh hum freak) is more than qualified to give such advice, but why didn’t he ask me???

I puffed up my chest, not realising that when I do that my head sinks into my shoulders and I virtually disappear from sight. My beady little eyes sending ‘pick-me, pick-me‘ signals out, desperate to be noticed.

Am I really this shallow?

Yes, it seems I am or at least I was this week. So if you can give me and this blog post lots of  likes, it will be very much appreciated, I need to be noticed and the alternative could be too horrendous for words….I could run through Pulborough stark naked, hoping to catch someone’s eye.

*Before anyone contacts the union, I’m only joking and the Flower Shop, Pulborough operates a non-discriminatory application process.

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